This post is done in the manner of a confession and a proposition for advice and answers.
I am going to be seventeen years old in two months.
I have had two relationships, and experience dating. Mentally, I have had anything varying from a vague interest to a raging obsession with somebody and them with me. Physically, I have experimented sexually but have had no sexual intercourse. Aka Virgin
Question: If you have given or recieved oral sex, does that mean you're technically not a virgin in the sense that you are not completely devoid of any sexual experience?
Okay back to the main point. Recently I have felt that I am ready for sex, but I wanted to wait until I found someone special or someone I really liked and could have a relationship with. I had anticipated that I would find that someone around this time. However, he is nowhere to be seen. I doubt I will find anyone to have a mutual love with until university, so I don't want to wait for the next year and half for my "cherry to be popped".
So, I have several options. I can:
A) remain a virgin until I am at least 18 (not desirable as I am ready and want to experience sex)
find someone to sleep with.
I find B the more appealing option, as I don't think I will regret it particularly as I don't think virginity is a big deal (unless you're like 12 and having sex, I mean you're still a child!) it's just that I would like to experience sex and I am ready for it.
My question is, how do I find someone who is between the age of 16 - 18 years old who would like a "one night stand" as it were with a moderately attractive girl who is almost seventeen? Now, you are probably thinking "how do you? EVERY boy of that age group wants sex." But in my sixth form I view everyone as a friend and it would be incredibly awkward to sleep with any of them. Therefore I have to meet someone outside of school. I wouldn't want to meet someone clubbing as they would probably be older, have an STI or find it difficult to find a location in which to get jiggy wit' it :L I am considering asking my friends outside of school if they know anyone...
So, do you think that if I did deflower myself this way I would regret it?
Will it have an impact on my self respect?
I know I would much rather sleep with someone who I cared about and who cared about me. But I'm so lonely right now, there's no one else, I'm ready and want to have sex in order to get it out of the way!
Oh dear, did I just say that? I feel like I'm missing out on a valuable experience, and I hate the way that people who have had sex are suddenly all wise and saying "it's no big deal, just wait!" well, it's not a big deal but I do want to lose it.
So, what do you think? Please reply with some advice or opinion and I promise I will read your blog and comment! xx
