C'est La Vie

This post is done in the manner of a confession and a proposition for advice and answers.
I am going to be seventeen years old in two months.
I have had two relationships, and experience dating. Mentally, I have had anything varying from a vague interest to a raging obsession with somebody and them with me. Physically, I have experimented sexually but have had no sexual intercourse. Aka Virgin

Question: If you have given or recieved oral sex, does that mean you're technically not a virgin in the sense that you are not completely devoid of any sexual experience?

Okay back to the main point. Recently I have felt that I am ready for sex, but I wanted to wait until I found someone special or someone I really liked and could have a relationship with. I had anticipated that I would find that someone around this time. However, he is nowhere to be seen. I doubt I will find anyone to have a mutual love with until university, so I don't want to wait for the next year and half for my "cherry to be popped".
So, I have several options. I can:
A) remain a virgin until I am at least 18 (not desirable as I am ready and want to experience sex)
find someone to sleep with.

I find B the more appealing option, as I don't think I will regret it particularly as I don't think virginity is a big deal (unless you're like 12 and having sex, I mean you're still a child!) it's just that I would like to experience sex and I am ready for it.

My question is, how do I find someone who is between the age of 16 - 18 years old who would like a "one night stand" as it were with a moderately attractive girl who is almost seventeen? Now, you are probably thinking "how do you? EVERY boy of that age group wants sex." But in my sixth form I view everyone as a friend and it would be incredibly awkward to sleep with any of them. Therefore I have to meet someone outside of school. I wouldn't want to meet someone clubbing as they would probably be older, have an STI or find it difficult to find a location in which to get jiggy wit' it :L I am considering asking my friends outside of school if they know anyone...

So, do you think that if I did deflower myself this way I would regret it?
Will it have an impact on my self respect?

I know I would much rather sleep with someone who I cared about and who cared about me. But I'm so lonely right now, there's no one else, I'm ready and want to have sex in order to get it out of the way!
Oh dear, did I just say that? I feel like I'm missing out on a valuable experience, and I hate the way that people who have had sex are suddenly all wise and saying "it's no big deal, just wait!" well, it's not a big deal but I do want to lose it.

So, what do you think? Please reply with some advice or opinion and I promise I will read your blog and comment! xx

Hi everyone - haven't been on here for agesss but I have a problemo.

See, three weeks ago I was clubbing with my friends, and one of my mates brought along her boyfriend and his friend. Me and the boyfriend's friend were dancing a lot and then we made out on the dancefloor. Since then I gave him my number, he texted straight away, we texted for about a week then I asked him to meet for a coffee even though he had loads of stuff on. We met up, he was buying me my coffee, pulling chairs out for me and that. We talked and laughed for about an hour, it was really nice and I felt really relaxed with him. Then afterwards he walked me to the bustop, said it was really nice and he kissed me goodbye.

Now, I was really happy about all this!

It's been eight days since that coffee. He had a really busy week on and he wasn't just saying that, he told me everything he was doing each night. Since then I've had to initiate the texting but he always replies rapidly and seems very friendly. Today we were chatting, and I replied to one of his texts with like a small proposition "so fancy meeting up next week sometime?" completely casual, and he hasn't replied!

I mean he was at work and he is going out tonight, so it's possible that he's busy.

Thing is I keep thinking, the reason he's not initiating the contact or asking me out is because he's suddenly lost interest, and heaven forbid, he's just not that into me.

Like most women I make excuses with this sort of thing, like he's shy (which he is but even if a guy is shy if he's into you he asks you out, right) he doesn't want a relationship (he had a long term thing last year and doesn't want anything too serious) he's just really busy (again, he is very busy)

Another few things - he alway apologises for not getting in touch and likes to ask me all about what I've been up to, remembering little details about me and that, he wasn't embarassed when he introduced me to his friend, he went to the theatre and thought I would be there (different performance times) and actually said that he had been looking out for me, everyone who knows him says that he is really nice. AND the boyfriend said that he thinks he really likes me as he blushes and goes quiet when people ask him about me.

I am actually freaking out here! I mean, he seemed like he really liked me, right? So what have I done to make him lose interest?
Oh.
Wait.
I didn't allow myself to be chased! I did the chasing when he needed to do a bit.

So what do you all think?

Should I not contact him at all for a few days and see what he does?
Should I just completely drop it and is he not interested at all?

Fucking fuckwits! Excuse the swearing but OGNBKJNGFNBKNF JBCAHbaKjNa\k!!!!!!

Stupid boy from previous entry has not replied to said text...I only sent the one! So I'm freaking out about what I should do because I'm going on holiday in three days and won't see him for six days after that D:

oh, and I also I just found out I missed him on msn. I watched a re-run of how to look good naked and MISSED TALKING TO HIM!! OMG I am such an idiot!! Besides which, I think he might hate me. Complete silence? Of course there is a chance that he doesn't remember that we kissed, but even so, we're FRIENDS! FRIENDS drop each other a line every so often, see how the other one is doing!!

oh lawdy, now I'm chatting to Amelia about it, and she said he was on msn...oh for heaven's sake! She is a friend of his and mine, but sometimes I get the feeling...well she used to like him!!

Okay, now I'm chilled. But why is he avoiding me? Or is he even avoiding me?
I hate myself for indulging in the cliche of millions of girls trying to decipher the meanings behind the actions of the male species.

That's it.
As of this moment, I am officially joining a convent.
Or becoming a lesbian.
I haven't decided which.

Hello everyone, yeah I don't use this much but I have a problem so I'm going to spill...

A guy that I mentioned in previous blogs...well, there was a Christmas Ball on Friday and we were both quite drunk...and I don't know what came over me but I walked up to him and said "I have your christmas present, close your eyes." and I just KISSED him! I was going for a peck, but he sort of turned it into a proper kiss and held me really close. Then it went into a hug and he said "thankyou" in this really sweet, tender voice which was really quiet and soft compared to his "drunken" voice he had had previously.

So of course, I was really happy but also a bit like :O did it really happen? Anyway, so two days later I send him a text (about midday today actually) asking him how he was and what he was doing over christmas, I didn't mention the kiss or anything...and he hasn't replied! We normally text and things so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

So what shall I do? I don't want to seem overly keen but we normally call each other so I did think I could do that just to see what's up...or shall I wait for him to text back and play it cool?

Please help, it would be appreciated.

au revoirrr xxx

For over a month, actually. Things have been busy I guess, and unlike some people who write blogs it is not my life so...

Barack Obama won. OH YES! Thank goodness, America needs a change and he is the right one to bring it. He and Michelle Obama seem to take their role seriously and consider everyone in their decisions, or at least millions hope they will. The only thing I'm concerned about is that with all this hope and expectation, Obama might not be able to live up to it, thus disappointing the public and becoming unpopular, making way for a less open-minded leader. Believe me, I study ALevel History. These things happen all the time.

Today my friend Hannah decided she was going to be let loose on my face, or more specifically my eyes. If I frown my eyelashes touch my eyebrows - the power of mascara! While earlier my half-Malaysian friend Bas and I had a discussion about Star Wars, Asian surnames, maths and his excellent iMac (I want one!!) , Amelia got soaked in water by a Jacob suffering from angst, James and I had a race to see who could find the best Flight of the Conchords t-shirt on the net, Aimee and I performed the sexual scene between Dr. Rank and Nora in "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen (which is incidently a great play, I love nineteenth-century scandals), Meggden and I snuggled while watching Clone Wars, and a certain handsome young man is catching my eye so, good day!

For once in my life I've not getting overly excited that someone I fancy actually likes me back. I'm pretty sure he does, but at the moment I'm just going with the flow and not worrying too much. Ever since saturday's bonfire where we spent the whole time talking and getting drunk, there's been some sectional(long story) tension between us I'm hoping to go to the cinema to see quantum of solace (again) with him and a few friends on friday
and ironically I just asked him if I could tag along and he said "yeah you're welcome of course" woop! and that's with his FRIENDS there, KNOWING that I'm there because he told me I should come, pretty ace don't you think?

Tralalalala - oh dear lawd, it better not be with ALL of his friends...I only know Will and Sean. Will is gay and so lovely, but me and Sean had a bit of thing a few weeks ago so that might be a bit tense...but still!

My advice now to any girl who likes a guy who she thinks might return her ardour, is to TAKE THE BULL BY IT'S HORNS if there is a convenient outing that you can casually attend, ask him if you can come! That way, he feels not pressured as it's not a date but by agreeing he is showing that he enjoys your company and is not afraid of what his friends or people will think of him being in public with you, and also that he is giving you the opportunity to spend time with him!
Well, I hope this will be good fun for me and for anyone who takes my advice!
Will fill you in on the goss if anything happens or if I become depressed again because he doesn't actually fancy me....

au revoir mon petit pains* xxx

* to those ignorant of french, that means good bye my little breads

alright! Well I haven't written in a while as I have been vair busy with work and so on. And as for my last blog, that young swine of a man is long out of my mind!

I want to get a discussion going so here's the topic...

RELIGION VS. SCIENCE

Well, more of a debate really. I am open to anyone's views and don't want anyone who expresses their view to degrade someone else's.

Okies, my opinion is that science, despite a majority of it being theory, has more evidence and believability about it. Science explains things rationally, science seems to work and is all around us. I don't know if it's true or not, and I am the same with religion. Although I am open to many different beliefs/faiths, I do not feel a need to believe in a higher power. Maybe the reason third world countries tend to have a more religious element in their people is because they need to believe that someone/something out there cares about them and will help them to survive. But I do disagree with the idea that religion causes wars - what causes wars is the economics, and physhopathic dicatators who use religion to justify their actions.

The discussion begins now

I am writing this at midday on a typical sunday. It's actually quite sunny for once, and I hoovered my room for the first time in months - I'm a very neat person normally, but I detest hoovering for its own sake, you can't even listen to music when doing it unless you turn up the volume enough to cause permanent deafness.

Taking a break from a Philsophy essay on Plato, explaining the strengths of natural law theory, and researching Kafka's "Metmorphosis". I'm a college student taking English Literature, History, Drama and Theatre Studies, and Philosophy and Ethics. It's hard work but really quite fun.

Okay, I sound like the most boring person ever right about now.

THERE AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE MY NANA'S TEA PARTY.

I enjoy Flight of the Conchords, it's original and hilarious.
I like indie music, but not trashy american crap.
I hate high school musical and hannah montana(stupid name).
I'm not racist, homophobic or religious.
I have an open mind.
I like discussions.
I have lots of friends.
I love travelling and plan to go to Africa, Brazil, Japan and India someday.
I like to read and watch films and go dancing.
I wish I could save money, understand men and not overthink things.
Acting is what I live for.

Yes, that's a pretty good explanation of me. Now I can get started on my dilemma so that whoever reads this can discuss and hopefully offer some advice.
It's such a cliche (really should start more originally), but here goes...

"There's this boy..." Alas, that is actually my starting phrase. Anyway, we started talking after he intiated the contact, we began flirting, talking regularly and having long discussions about books and food. He is tall, with ruffled blonde hair and green/brown eyes, and has a good dress sense. He is also very smart and amusing, friendly and chatty to everyone, with a quirky sense of humour which can be difficult to grasp. He is very much a guy's guy, definitely not a ladies man. We were aquaintances for a couple of years when we went to the same high school, and he is kinda shy with girls.

But yes, when in public he'd glance/stare at me quite a bit, we'd spent all lunch talking and we were sitting VERY close. He'd hug me everytime I said goodbye, and once briefly held my hand for about ten seconds. He also gave me a very big compliment once and teases me often, also asked me to go to the cinema with his friends. As an extra, my best male friend is one of his closest friends, and this guy friend reported that he had asked if I would be a good potential girlfriend and also relayed some of our conversations.

Of course, by this point I'd grasped that something was going on - I'm not completely braindead! But unfortunately a rumour spread that he liked me, and all of a sudden he ceased all contact, got really angry about it i.e seized a couple of his mates who mentioned it into a small cupboard and yelled in hushed tones "WHERE did you here this?", and took to standing near me and staring at me as though something was troubling him.

After about a week of this he began talking to me again, after I had assured him that nothing was wrong and took to giving him small greetings every so often. Since then we have been slowly returning to the way we were before. On tuesday we spent half a free period chatting and sharing a packet of doritos. Also, I saw him a couple of days ago in the common room. He stood by where I was sitting and greeted me with "Hey *", then proceeded to sit down in the only available seat. At this point I was having a determinedly casual chat with a galfrand. He kept trying to butt into the conversation whenever I glanced at him. The second a seat closer to me was vacated he sat down there, leaning in my direction with his feet pointing at me.

Besides this, he often glances and looks at me lots again. BUT there is one huuuge problem, in the form of a big breasted blonde who has the conversation of a cabbage...

let's call her...blast ended skank (potter puppet pals is comedy gold). So, Blast Ended Skank flirts with everyone - and when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. He just happens to be her favourite! She sits there, taking no notice of what he's saying and simply giggles and touches his leg a lot, hugging him, smiling etc. The poor boy doesn't seem to respond too much - the time I was watching this he was facing me while she attacked him, not smiling but simply turning his head occasionally to speak to her, she'd just nod and go back to giggling, the utter cow. BUT I know that he kinda likes her (we're friends), and that she doesn't fancy him but will most likely use him.

So...the verdict? I have no clue, so that's why I am bidding for some assistance here! There is a party in a few days where I want to make my move...

Does he fancy me? Will the Blast Ended Skank entrap him? Shall I ask him out somewhere?

You decided...leave a blog comment, pip pip xx